This Is The Worst Word To Use In An Apology

January 3, 2018


We're human and from time to time we get into disagreements and those can lead into a pretty intense war of words.  Burt eventually tempers cool off and an apology is usually offered. People don’t always have control over how apologies are received. Sometimes the act itself is appreciated. Other times, people aren’t satisfied with words alone. But there is one way to almost guarantee your remorse will be met with indifference: use the word “but.” According to a psychologist qualifying your expression of regret by offering an excuse or disclaimer often leads to a communication misfire. No matter how sincere you may be, telling someone that there’s justification for your behavior—which is what the word "but" indicates—will lead them to believe you’re not taking responsibility for it. But there is even a worse apology than "but.” Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” is blowing off the apology altogether.  It doesn't address the incident and after all, that is what an apology is supposed to be used for. If you want an apology to stick, saying “I’m sorry” without any qualifiers is the way to go. If the injured party wants to complain or elaborate on why you’ve wronged them, let them. After “sorry,” silence is the next best cure.

SOURCE: Mental Floss

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