Unhelpful Ways We Respond To Loved Ones In A Crisis

March 7, 2019

© Flair Images | Dreamstime

Being a good friend means from time to time they will need some help getting out of a bad place.  However as you try to make them feel better, a pep talk can turn ugly. For instance, the he first instinct we have when we hear about a friend's problem is to fix it. And if it's a problem that can no longer be fixed, we'll tell them how we would have obviously handled it. Not only is this shunning actual advice in favor of making yourself look superior, but it's also implying that they can't handle their own life. Another seemingly helpful pep talk that backfires is to assuring them that something similar, or worse, happened to them. While it's good to empathize with your friend, by sharing a similar story you will wither come across as uncaring as your issue pales in comparison or your story is actually worse and therefore turning the attention back to you. While offering a positive spin such as "this is an opportunity in disguise," in reality it puts pressure on them to be positive, when sometimes being negative is the reasonable response. What your friend desperately needs when they are feeling blue is for you to just listen! Let them do all the talking, even if it takes a while for them to open up and vent.  In most cases the person who you are wanting to pep up will do so on their own, after talking while you listen.

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SOURCE: Cracked

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