Stop Apologizing For Things Out Of Your Control

April 15, 2019

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The average person apologizes 8 times a day, usually by saying, "I'm sorry" even when there is nothing to apologize over. While saying sorry is, in general, a nice thing to do, there’s recently been a bit of a movement to encourage people to stop apologizing so much.  Sometimes an “I’m sorry” is appropriate, other times, you’d be better off saying something a little different because constantly apologizing undermine your authority and confidence in a situation, and ultimate damage your credibility or portray you as weak and indecisive. So what do you say? Well simply state the problem and how you’ll fix it. And that's it. For example, if you’re uncomfortable delegating work, try this: “We’re in a crunch, and all these files need to be cataloged by end of day. Do you have what you need to get started?” If you’re constantly apologizing for what you can’t control, try this: “I know I’ve had to reschedule this meeting several times. Thank you for understanding.” If something goes wrong on your watch, try this: “The project took longer than I expected. I’ll have it for you first thing tomorrow.” Then stop. Be brief, specific, direct, and unapologetic. Like any other bad habit, overcoming it takes practice. You’ll try avoiding the words “I’m sorry” for a while, stumble, and get back on track. Try taking a friend or trusted coworker into your confidence about what you’re trying to accomplish, and agree on a high sign she can give you if she hears you apologizing unnecessarily. Then reward yourself for the effort. And keep at it. What you lose by giving up the emotional currency of frequent apologies, you will gain back in personal confidence and self-esteem. That’s something of real value. Bottom line: Don’t apologize unnecessarily–know how to recognize when a sincere apology is necessary.

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SOURCE: Fast Company

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